to whom it may concern

Dear naked women in the gym locker room,

I appreciate the confidence you possess and your willingness to let it all hang out regardless of your size, age, and skin elasticity (or lack thereof). It's perfectly fine with me if you don't want to use the changing rooms or bathroom stalls to dress yourself. More power to you, really. But here are some activities that I feel are more appropriate after you have dressed yourself (or there's a technique for wrapping towels around one's body, it quite simply...it would suffice). These activities include but are not limited to:

1. blow drying your hair.
2. carrying on 15 minute long conversations with strangers
3. rearranging your gym bag
4. stretching
5. putting on your make-up
6. bending over (for any reason)

To those of you who have mastered the art of undressing and dressing in a timely fashion, please know that you are appreciated. I thank you. My eyes thank you.

sincerely,
Modest me.