This is not uplifting.

Life is crazy. Good (for the most part) but crazy.

I've been neglecting this little blog. I would really like to be better about it but it feels like lately I am either too busy to blog, or I have nothing good to say. Who wants to read bad news? Mostly no one I would imagine. But if I'm going to update this I can't avoid the negatives so lets get them out of the way first.

We have to go back a little actually in order to get current...so back we go...

So we're back in November, around Thanksgiving in fact. And I find a lump (not in the mashed potatoes...)
So being the kind of person I am I freak out a little internally...and then procrastinate about going to the doctor (I know, I know. dumb.)

Now, this can either be a long drawn out story of medical ridiculousness and frustration...but let's go another route and make it short and sweet. I've had a bunch of tests done and the verdict is still out on whether or not I should be worried (of course nobody has to tell me to worry...it's just my nature). So, On Wednesday I'm having it removed.

Here's where I tell you all that I have a huge irrational fear of IV's. I HATE them. HATE. I'm not really worried about the surgery, it's fairly basic. But I'm considering amputating my own arms at the elbow to avoid the IV. But that'd probably lead to an infection which would lead to hospitalization, which inevitably means the dreaded IV. Not to mention the fact that they can stick the IV somewhere else. But in my mind IV's are always in your wrist area and in my mind I move wrong and the needle rips through my vein and jams up through my skin and I bleed everywhere.

No, it's never happened to me (obviously). I've never even heard of it happening. But still...

I guess in a way worrying about the IV has kept me from worrying about the real issue quite as much. I'm actually pretty sure it's nothing. But the something it could be sucks so much that I can't even think about it (especially since it's been left to linger for almost five months and spread wherever it would like).

So that's that. For now.

Next issue.

I've been noticing lately that when Gentry watches tv he randomly makes this low quick grunting sound every few seconds. It caught my attention but I wasn't really that worried about it. I figured it was just a quirk.
Then last Friday after three exhausting days at Disneyland he started having these weird spasms (twitches? tics?) I'm not sure what to call them. He was walking or talking and stopped suddenly made that same noise, his head jerked to the side, and his arm shot out to the same side. Then he'd go immediately back to whatever he was doing. I don't think he was even aware that it was happening.

I'm going to go ahead and say that it was hands down the scariest thing I've ever seen.

Saturday morning we took him to the doctor first thing. They took a bunch of blood from his little arm (he was a trooper) and a urine test. We should have results from them tomorrow. The doctor didn't want to speculate about what it could be before he saw the tests results. But he did ask about a family history of tourettes. He sees a neurologist on Thursday.

Four year olds should have to see their pediatrician, the dentist, maybe the optometrist...but not a neurologist (or the oncologist or therapist for that matter).

Against my better judgement I used the almighty google and spent hours reading about all sorts of things that could be causing it. Probably not my best choice because now I'm even more freaked out then I was before.

I am thankful that he has good health insurance. I'm thankful that it doesn't seem to be bothering him. He's the same happy, energetic, crazy lovable boy as always.
In fact he's outside right now with a teenage mutant ninja turtle costume and a Mickey Mouse light saber "practicing his moves and kicking some butts". The tics have increased in frequency since Friday which is not reassuring.

I know we'll deal with whatever the problem is. I just want him to be ok.

I was going to move onto lighter topics but I think I'll post again later instead. I'd rather go practice my own moves with the turtle.