Wicked

Wicked was awesome. The whole night was a lot of fun. We went with a small group of people but McKay was the only kid. I could tell he felt like big shot. He acted so maturely, I was very proud of him. We went to dinner at 25 Degrees. Delicious.

The show was great, and funnier than I expected.

Since it didn't even start till 8pm, McKay was up way later than usual. He made it as long as he could but crashed in the lobby after the show while we waited for a few people to use the restroom.



We had walked about a mile to the theater from where we had dinner. We were planning on getting a cab back to the car since it was late (Hollywood late at night scares me a little) and walking in heels sucks. But then we found out that no cabs were were running in the direction we needed to go because the street had been shut down for a gay rights protest (an anti prop 8 rally, basically). So we walked.



I've never been in the middle of a protest before. It was kind of cool except that my feet were bleeding from my stupid shoes. Plus I had to carry McKay most of the way. But there was an energy in the air and it was nice to see people standing up for something they believe. It may not do any good, in fact I'm fairly sure it wont but at least they felt like they were doing something.



Thankfully it was a peaceful protest. Everyone was behaving.

Well, except for this guy



He was repeatedly yelling "GAY PEOPLE SHOULD ALL DIE".
(And I was thinking, no sir, that outfit should die)

In response someone kept yelling back "One day we will", which I thought was a very mature way to handle such a stupid remark.

McKay was a little freaked out by the crowd and all of the police in their riot gear so we didn't hang around long. Plus it was really late.



What an interesting and fun night.

Minus the bleeding toes.

Next I'd like to take the kids to see The Grinch. But we'll park closer and I'm wearing flats.

The Wizard will see us now!

I am not one of those people that shops early for Christmas. Sometimes, but rarely, I'll go out on black Friday but I don't think I've ever bought a Christmas present before Thanksgiving. I'm that frantic shopper the week before that's desperately trying to get the last few things I need.

But today I bought the boys a Wii. For Christmas.

And now I'm trying to resist the urge to give it to them so that I can play with it.

McKay and I have a date tonight. We're going to see Wicked. We're going to get dressed up and go to dinner before hand. I'm not sure who is more excited, me or him.

Also, I had a great birthday yesterday. One of the best ever. Thanks everyone.

Maybe he's right

Today Gentry told me that he doesn't think Joe Biden looks like a Joe.

"He looks like a Leon."

That boy has a way of making me smile every single day.

Change

I am proud today. No matter how the election turns out I am proud that the people of this country have cared enough to come out in record numbers and make their voices heard. I'm proud of myself for taking the time to get educated about matters that are important so that I could cast my vote with confidence.

Today is a new beginning and I see many opportunities ahead to fight for social justice. I anticipate positive change for our country and that is exciting.

This is a historical day. I'm proud to have been a part of it.

(The fact that Starbucks gave away free coffee to voters wasn't too bad either.)

(And Anderson Cooper is foxy.)

Fall

So another Halloween is over and for the last few days it has actually felt like Fall. I'm enjoying it while it lasts. We went to the pumpkin patch a few weekends ago and it was 90 degrees! It depressed me. You'd think I'd be used to it, growing up here and all, but I feel myself longing for more noticable seasons. More and more often I find myself thinking about moving out of California. It's ironic that the weather is what draws many people to this state and it would be a big factor in making me leave.

Anyway, we're here for the time being and I can't believe it's already November again. This past year has flown by. I think I say that every year around this time, when Christmas is right around the corner and I think didn't we just do this?? Before I know it it'll be time to get the lights out and start buying presents and enjoying all that the Christmas season brings...and then in a flash it'll be over again. I'm trying to live in the moment and enjoy now and for that reason I'm not thinking about the fact that my birthday is coming up and I'm inching my way closer to 30. Nope, not thinking about it at all.

Or maybe I can't stop thinking about it. It's one of those two things :)

Now, pictures. (Please excuse that fact that Elvis's hair came un-hairsprayed about 10 minutes into trick or treating and he ended up with an afro. We know Elvis didn't have an afro, I promise. Funny thing about trick or treating though, you get candy regardless of if your hair is accurate.)













Happy Fall!

They weren't even solid gold pajamas

Mckay and Gentry have some good friends that live in Albuquerque...Tori, Tylor and Travis. We met them when Tori and McKay were in preschool together and quickly became inseparable. My cousin Leah was in their class too. Together they were the 3 musketeers. (It's kind of interesting to note that McKay was totally drawn to girls at that point and played with them way more than he played with boys...4 years later it's quite the opposite). Tylor is the same exact age as Gentry so play dates were perfect. (Travis hadn't been born yet when we lived there. He's two now). Anyway, when we moved away it was really sad for the kids. McKay missed Tori (and Leah) horribly , and vice versa. To make things a little easier on them we would send little packages back and forth from time to time. Mostly just little notes, pictures they had drawn for each other etc. They exchange gifts during the holidays and birthdays. Every January we go back to Albuquerque to see them and celebrate Tori's birthday. We usually see them once during the summer. I love that their friendship is still solid. Their mom, Yolanda, is wonderful and puts out an equal amount of effort to keep the kids in touch.

Anyway, I had put together a box of Halloween stuff to send them. Nothing extravagant...just Halloween pj's and some cupcake mix and a few little odds and ends. I've had it packed and ready to be mailed for at least three weeks. So unlike me! I got as far as taking it to the car. Where it sat on the back seat for a week. Totally like me. So on Friday I finally made it over to the post office and went to get the box out of the car and it wasn't there. I checked the car and trunk like 20 times. Nothing. I went home and looked everywhere for it. The whole time I was looking in the house I knew it was in vain. It was in the car. I know it. The boys commented on it being in their way multiple times. I could picture it on the seat waiting for me to get my act together and mail it. I felt like I was going a little crazy. Especially when my mom and Carrie both kept saying "Are you sure you didn't mail it?" and I kept insisting that I hadn't. But by yesterday afternoon I started to doubt myself. Could I really have mailed something and not have any recollection of doing it?? I was questioning my own sanity. The box couldn't have just vanished. I had to have moved it. But to where? I emailed Yolanda just to double check that they had in fact not received a package from us.

Cut to this afternoon. We were walking Oakley and found the box in the gutter about two blocks away. It had been ripped open, the card opened, the pj's gone. The cupcake mix and a few other things still there, soggy from the gutter.

So, basically someone took it out of my car. They took what they wanted and left the rest.

How naive am I that I hadn't even really considered that possibility?

I can't figure out when it would have happened. Ever since my purse was stolen over the summer I'm anal about locking the car.

People really suck sometimes. Obviously it was a package for kids. It wasn't worth anything. I mean, you could take the pajamas back to target and get the cash, but they weren't made of gold. You'd get maybe $25 total.

It's really annoying.

The upside is that I'm not crazy!

Fabians, we love you guys and we miss you!

Probably doesn't qualify me for a biker gang.

From 9-26-2008

It was either that or this

From 9-26-2008

Maybe I'll join a biker gang.

I had several things that needed to get accomplished today. None of those things included washing my cell phone with my sheets or getting a tattoo. But guess what?! I'm an overachiever.

So now I have no phone, till tomorrow when Verizon promises the new one will be at my door. And why is it that I feel sorta like I'm missing a limb?? It's not like I get that many calls. I mean, really. And how 2008 is it of me not to have really important phone numbers written somewhere instead of just stuck in my really clean phone? And all of my saved texts from like the last year? Gone. I suck.

And in case you missed that casual mention...I GOT A TATTOO. OMG. I'm not sure I can pull of a tattoo. Can I pull off a tattoo??? I'll post a picture. You can decide.

It's the last weekend of the fair. So we're driving out to Pomona tomorrow and I'm gonna eat something delicious. Something fried, I'm sure. And at the rate I'm going, maybe I'll get something pierced. Or just get shitfaced.

Probably not, though.

Semi famous

I was sitting in traffic today listening to the radio and the DJ announced a giveaway if you were caller 25. I swear to you I never pay any attention to those things but for some reason I called. And I won! I didn't even know what the prize was at first but I honestly didn't even care. I was looking around at all of the other cars thinking Do you all realize that I just won concert tickets off of the radio? That's right. Me. Right here.
Surprisingly, nobody looked back at me or cared. But that didn't lessen my excitement. Since there was like a two minute delay before they actually announced my name, I celebrated in my car, alone. But then the texts started coming in Hey, you just won tickets on the radio. They just announced your name on the radio! You won! Take me with you!!

You guys, I was like semi-famous for a second. Yay me!

It's Travis Tritt tickets for some acoustic concert he's doing in November. I might actually just give the tickets away. But I can give them away, cause they're mine. Cause I WON them!!!

It totally made my day.

But I also wanted to say that my heart goes out to anyone affected (effected? ugh. Jennifer, don't hate me) by the Metro crash today. I was on Chatsworth st. very nearby when it happened and I could tell by the amount of police/fire/paramedics that came raising passed that it was something major. For the record, I know concert tickets are totally trivial. Winning them was way cool but in no way life changing. Also, I think it's a tad bit insensitive that the people giving the news conferences keep making special mention of the off duty police officer that was killed. While that is tremendously sad, I don't really feel like it's more of a loss to the community than anyone else that died. Being a police officer is wonderful. Maybe there was a teacher, or a nurse, a garbage man, mail carrier, waitress, receptionist or artist among the casualties. They were all people. I would imagine that each one of them has a family, neighbors, coworkers and friends that will be equally affected (? here we go again) by their death. It's a horribly sad situation all the way around.

Did you like how I went straight from Woohoo! to Boo. without any warning at all? Sorry bout that

But hey, look who just posted something on their "blog" aka thing that just sits around taking up precious Internet space.

Nostalgia

At the beginning of June I shot a wedding. I said I would post pictures and never got around to it. I'm doing it now!

This is Tiffany.



She grew up down the street from me. She's 7 years younger than me so we weren't friends growing up until like 1998 my best friend developed a crush on her brother Austin. We found ourselves down at their house a lot in those days and I realized that Tiffany was a pretty cool kid. And actually I thought Austin was kind of a jerk! Eventually Carrie got over the crush (cause Austin was kind of a jerk...) but we stayed friends with tiffany. She tagged along to concerts occasionally, or the movies or whatever. Kinda like a little sister, only less annoying.

Then she met Jeremy.


And we didn't see as much of her. But Jeremy was a nice guy and we were happy for her. Then she went off to college (Jen, she went to Cal Lutheran!) and we saw even less of her. In the meantime, she and Jeremy got engaged and planned their wedding for two weeks after her graduation. And I was honored (and totally scared) when they asked me to be their photographer. It was so much fun to shoot their wedding because I've known Tiffany for so long and watched her grow from a little kid into a gorgeous woman.







She and Jeremy are perfect together and totally in love and although I'm kind of a pessimist about marriage in general, I have a lot of hope for them.













Oh, and I think they're gonna have really cute kids (get on that, Tiff).

Which brings me back to Austin (the jerky brother). He's not a jerk anymore. In fact he's married to a great girl named Brenda and they just had their first son, Logan.

I went out to Vegas earlier in the week to meet the little guy and take some pictures of him for his birth announcements. He melted my heart.



He reminded me so much of McKay when he was that size. The night before I left I offered to be on LoganWatch so that Austin and Brenda could get a full nights sleep and at about 2 am he and I were hanging out and I considered stealing him.

Well, not really. But I am in love with this baby.









I mean, look at that face.

It doesn't seem like that long ago that the boys were that little. But Gentry just started Kindergarten and McKay is a second grader! I tried to tell Logan not to grow up too fast but I doubt he'll listen. They never do.

I'm no good at titles, no good at all

For awhile now I've been feeling like I'm not living up to my potential. I've sort of been on a quest the last couple of weeks to figure out why that is. I've been trying to be more honest with myself and basically just reevaluate where I am in life and where I'd like to be.

I haven't uncovered any amazing solutions are even any really major problems but I'm realizing that I've been hiding behind some stuff for a long time and not really letting myself shine in areas where I could be. I'm also becoming very aware of the fact that I'm not good at showing weakness or asking for help (or even admitting to myself when I need it).

Anyway, I've decided to take some steps to accomplish a few main goals...get healthier, more organized, and more financially stable. Overall I just want to feel more at peace with who I am and feel more fulfilled. Does that make me sound like some kind of spiritual freak?? I'm not. I'm just realizing how quickly life is passing by. I think when I was younger I always had a sense that there was plenty of time to accomplish anything that I wanted. I worked jobs that I was bored with and kept friends that I shouldn't have. I didn't take my goals seriously enough to actively pursue them (or some of them, at least) because I figured I'd get to it at some point. Actually I don't think I let myself even have any concrete goals.
I was just living day to day without really thinking too far ahead. Basically I was immature.

All of the sudden it's hitting me how big the boys have gotten and how quickly time is flying by. I think a lot of this is coming from the fact that Gentry will start Kindergarten in the fall and my 30th birthday will be here before I know it. It's not that 30 is old but it feels like a "grown up" age and I'm realizing that in many ways I'm not very grown up at all.

It seems like in the blink of an eye 10 years have gone by. I don't want the next 10 to pass without doing something meaningful. I want the almost 40 year old me to be proud of the accomplishments I made in my 30's.

I'm not very good at dealing with change and I tend to lack follow-through so we'll see how this goes but I feel motivated and that's a start at least. Right?

Stay tuned.

Nothing is getting done.

I'm becoming mildly obsessed with this.

Part of being a big kid

Gentry had to go to the pediatrician today to get shots for Kindergarten. 4 shots to be exact. He screamed BLOODY MURDER and kept asking the doctor "why are you doing this to me??" It broke my heart.
He used to love his pediatrician. Most of the time he just has to see her for minor things and he hasn't gotten a shot in a long time. He loves to get measured and weighed...and the stickers at the end are somehow cooler than any other sticker ever. But I think his affection for her may have lessened a little after today because he's suddenly claiming that she's "evil".
And he holds a mean grudge. She's going to have to do better than stickers next time. If I can even get him in the door!
It really hit me today that he's about to start school. I'm excited for him...but a little sad at the same time. I think that first day is going to be tough for both of us.
This summer is already flying by. They go back in a little over a month. What happened to 3 month summers that we had when I was little??

Safe and sound

We're home.

There are no words to describe how excited I am to sleep in my own bed tonight.

Pictures of the trip coming soon.

enjoy your day!

Happy Birthday Jen!

I hope you have a great day. And we should get together. Don't say no.

What I'm not doing...

I never sleep anymore. It's really annoying.

Change

So...the wedding went fine. I shouldn't have worried so much.

Story of my life, basically.

I'm relieved that's it's over with and that nothing horrible happened. None of the worst case scenarios that I had running through my head for the last week became reality. I'm glad that Tiffany and Jeremy (Bride and Groom) had a good, easy day and that none of their crazy relatives caused any major problems! But mostly I'm just excited that I loved shooting it so much.

One of my worries was that once I actually shot a wedding I might start doubting whether or not it's really what I want to do. But I left at the end of the night exhausted but totally excited because I loved it. It was so much fun to be a part of such an important day and to be able to capture the emotions that everyone was feeling.

I have a lot to learn. A lot. I mean, seriously...a lot. But I want to learn it and I want to face all of the obstacles and do this thing. That's a new feeling for me. I usually shy away from things that are really difficult or that I think I might fail at. I hate that about me, actually. But I'm working on it. And I'm excited to learn and to fail and to push through it and become the best darn photographer I can be!

That was cheesy. Deal with it.

I'll post a few pictures from the wedding later today.

But right now lets move to a different subject...



This is Bridget. I love her.

I started babysitting for her when she was about 7. Over the years she went from being a little kid that I babysat to one of my best friends. She's 5 years younger than me but I don't notice the age difference anymore. She's the oldest of five and is pretty much the most responsible person I know. She's as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. She's stubborn and opinionated, but goes out of her way to help people. One of the things that I've always admired about her is how much of her time she volunteers. She works full time and goes to school full time...so on a rare day that she has to herself I would expect her to stay home, relax etc...but instead she volunteers for the special Olympics and at the pound. She has integrity. She's the kind of friend you can count on without hesitation.

She's leaving on Thursday. I'm going to miss her more than I can say. Although I wish she wasn't going...I'm proud of her. She's excited and ready. She'll do an amazing job over there. She'll be in North Carolina for 6 weeks and will deploy to Iraq from there. I was an emotional wreck at her going away party yesterday. I cried anytime anyone else cried (which was lot). Thank goodness the boys were in the pool for like 5 hours straight so they didn't have to see me lose it. Bridget was tough though. Here she is about to go to another country in the middle of the war and she was consoling me. I'm lame. I'm just going to miss her so much and I want her to be safe.

This weekend took a toll on me. I'm physically and emotionally drained.

can't sleep.

It's 1:26 am. I can't sleep. In less than 12 hours I will start shooting my first wedding. I'm so nervous you'd think I was the one getting married!

I really hope I don't ef this up.

I really hope I fall alseep at some point tonight!

ok, that's all.

Oh, and happy birthday to my brother. Who doesn't read this (I don't think). And technically I suppose it's not his birthday anymore. So, basically just forget it.

Goodnight.

Give and Take.

I found something today that I thought I had lost. It's been missing for like two years.

Yay for that.

I paid $4.23 for gas today.

Boo.

I'm shooting my first wedding in 5 days.

Yay.

I kinda want to throw up a little when I think about it.

Yuck.

We are leaving for our road trip in 17 days.

So excited.

Gas will probably go up like 20 cents by then.

No good.

My brother turns 30 in 4 days.

Celebrate.

I'm not far behind him.

Panic.





That's all.

Five

Happy 5th Birthday Gentry Bean!

I have to admit that I'm a little sad. Five seems really old to me. Like he's out of the little boy phase and into being just a boy.

But he's a cute boy. Little or not.




And he's excited to be five.



He woke up this morning and asked me if his voice was any deeper. And then made me measure him.

The voice was the same. But he did grow an inch and a half since last year, which thrilled him, naturally.

He had a Spongebob party on Sunday. It was his first real birthday party where there were more kids than adults. He loved every minute of it.
















And he got spoiled rotten. But he deserves it. He's a good kid.

A wild, funny, caring, energetic, sweet, lovable boy. A boy that keeps me on my toes, and says random things that make me laugh, and gives hugs without being asked and plays the "I love you more than..." game at least once a day. He's wise beyond his years, has an amazing memory, a contagious laugh, the worlds smallest teeth, and a sarcastic wit.

And he's 5!



I kinda can't believe it, actually.

Time seriously flies.

It's been an awesome five years. I hope he thinks so too!

My boy.





Happy birthday, buddy!